ASHEVILLE, N.C. (828newsNOW) — Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie are the stars of “”Wuthering Heights”,” a romantic reimagining of the classic Emily Brontë novel by “Saltburn” director Emerald Fennell. Like a bad kiss, the film is dissatisfying and a little gross. Happy Valentine’s Day.

“WUTHERING HEIGHTS” (2026, 136 min., directed by Emerald Fennell)

While I am embarrassed to admit I have not read “Wuthering Heights,” I know enough about the Emily Brontë novel to deduce that Emerald Fennell’s dreadful new film, “”Wuthering Heights,”” earns the quotation marks around its title. Fennell’s film is less of an “adaptation” of the book than Kate Bush’s “Wuthering Heights” music video.

Even without doing my literary homework, I can speak to the film’s cinematic failures. “”Wuthering Heights”” is about as romantic as a sneeze, but just as gooey. Fennell’s film is slathered with slime, goop and other viscous fluids, suggestive substances which fail to make up for the missing sex appeal between its leaden leads. Unless you find slugs, broken eggs and kneaded dough evocative of heart-pounding amour, the bulk of Fennell’s movie trends toward grossly boring, not daringly sexy.

If Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie had any sort of chemistry, sexual or otherwise, this might have been a different story. As it is, their scenes together feel awkward and mismatched. Rather than getting swept up in the grandeur of undeniable love, “”Wuthering Heights”” offers thrills like wondering how Robbie resisted busting out laughing when she had to stuff grass into Elordi’s mouth and admiring a montage of fully-clothed grunting set to Charli XCX.

Even on their own, Robbie and Elordi are not bringing anything exciting to the screen. While “”Wuthering Heights”” portends to distance itself from its source material, a few character traits from the novel are messily grafted onto its leads. Cathy, Robbie’s character, is a teenager in the book, which might explain the impetuousness, irrationality and childish behavior of the character played by a 35-year-old woman in the film. The characterization of Cathy in Fennell’s script is an idiosyncrasy that Robbie’s natural charisma cannot surmount.

Meanwhile, Heathcliff, Elordi’s character, is meant to be a year older than Catherine, but the actor is seven years younger than Robbie. That would not be a problem for an actor who looked older, but Elordi’s natural boyishness makes the anachronism distractingly apparent. Fennell’s characterization of an adult Heathcliff – tormented, obsessive, vengeful – is more consistent with the behavior of an adult than Cathy, but Elordi was cast against type to play a brusque, impenetrable brooder. Remember, just last year Elordi was responsible for projecting soulfulness into a reanimated corpse with virtually nothing but his eyes and stature. Elordi is a great actor, but this was the wrong part for him. Ditto the über-talented Robbie.

If Elordi and Robbie are not convincing together or compelling on their own, “”Wuthering Heights”” has a big problem on its hands. Fennell situates her entire film around the dynamic between the two, but their romance lacks the energy to keep the momentum going for two hours and 16 minutes. That is a mammoth runtime for a film that wants so desperately to be sexy but ends up so very dull.

If nothing else, Fennell’s vision of “Wuthering Heights” does have visual sumptuousness going for it. I did not always like the set design, but it was always bold. Take Cathy’s bedroom walls, for instance. They appear to be wallpapered with her skin, which is a cool choice in its inventiveness, but the metaphor is skin-deep. Likewise, the costume design, filled with cellophane wrapping and crinkly materials, was not my favorite for a period film, but the construction was inspired.

That tension is the core issue with Fennell’s film. Between the director and her creative collaborators, there is so much talent hovering over “”Wuthering Heights,”” but the execution is a consistent letdown.

Let’s circle back to Kate Bush. Though her film is a failure of an adaptation and a romance, Fennell would be the perfect choice to direct a “Wuthering Heights” music video. Her direction is stylish, her sets are interesting and she choreographs actors in unique ways. The precedent has been laid, too. Last year, Saoirse Ronan starred in a new music video for Talking Heads’ 1977 song “Psycho Killer.” Instead of this train wreck, maybe Fennell should have directed Elordi and Robbie in a new video for Bush’s 1978 single.

Rating: 1.5/5